Saturday, November 28, 2009

[Black Friday] Jetta doesn't stand for 'betta'

Sooooo..... you have a silver 9-year-old VW Jetta.

What did you do to 'customize' it??

Let's see... rims, ground kit..... umm..... that's it.
You totally deserve two parking spots!

Let me delight you with the note I left under the windshield wiper:
'It's an old ass Jetta... NOT A BENTLEY'

you are a plague.

Leia Mais…

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The white Skecher no-no

You've had to have seen these women walking around Wal-Mart, or Cato, or Fashion Bug. They have on their tapered acid-washed jeans, short and/or big blonde hair with bangs you can see through..... and all-white Skechers. Why?

This form of female human also comes complete with some 12 year old Tommy Hilfiger, or dare I say, Fila t-shirt.


.you are a plague.

Leia Mais…

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Is it that hard to close your lips?

Maybe it's not just their personalities that make me have so much disdain for these two 'bruthas'.

Look. at. their. mouths.

Now tell me it doesn't aggravate you just looking at those big ugly holes on those misshapen faces...

.they are plagues. black plagues. no pun intended

Leia Mais…

Monday, November 16, 2009

Dust ruffle stacked hedgehog beehive

Ahh, so recently I got to enjoy 2 hours of my life at a Southern Christmas Show that I will never get back. This is only one snapshot I got to take while there...

It's bad enough every southern woman I can think of has the short, stacked, spiky haircut, but this... this is incomprehensible. It appears that this lady has the aforementioned Kate Gosselin-wannabe cut AAAAND has buried her face in the ground for a mini lawnmower to drive right over the middle of the back, leaving some sort of dust ruffle/mullet at the bottom.

You be the judge, and please enlighten me if this is going to be some 'new' thing for the 'stylish' Over the Hill crowd...

.she is a plague.

Leia Mais…

Monday, November 9, 2009

Witch? Angel? Fairy? Slut?

So that time of year just passed: little boys dress up as Spider-Man, little girls dress up as Cinderella and the 20s crowds go dance, get drunk, and get pregnant. So what's up with the latter? Has Halloween turned into bar-hopping and bed-hopping? Well, they're all adults (physically, anyway) so let them have their fun.

I guess my biggest peeve is how so many girls find the sluttiest, smallest, most unoriginal costume they can. Is that a type of mating call we don't have an official scientific explanation for? Does the semi-attractive blond female human dressed up as a 'cop' in navy blue panties, a badge, and handcuffs emit pheromones to the male humans? Or is it the 'construction worker' with a tool belt covering a thong that shouts, "I'm easy! And I can fix your door jamb!"
I don't even have words when it comes to the ubiquitous nurse costume...

.you are a plague.

Leia Mais…