Monday, December 28, 2009

McFatty takes a ride [when he needs to walk.]

Fat parents are usually nothing but fat enablers for their portly pups.
I was so very fortunate to witness this at a local mall over the weekend... on an elevator of course. (I was on it because we have a stroller with a 10 pounder in it, mind you).

Look below, and you be the judge. Does this look below the probable weight allowance for the stroller exhibited?

forgive the blurry snapshot, for I was trying to be discrete.
I thought, 'maybe, just maybe this porker has a disability.'  Umm, not when he so anxiously wanted his gullible mother to let him look over the rail at Santa Clause once we got upstairs- in his velcro shoes.

ATTENTION OBESE MOM: Make his ass walk, put a lock on your fridge, and teach him to tie his shoes. He looks old enough to me.

.you are a plague.

Leia Mais…

Friday, December 18, 2009


Immature.  Pointlessly untrustworthy.  Selfish.

All of those words describe the narrow-minded people of all ages that simply can't trust the one they 'love' in having their very own social networking account (Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Friendster, whichever).

It breaks your that these sites don't currently allow you to make a joint account.  I'm terribly sorry, but  they're not banks.

If your screen name is John-Amy Smith, or Kimberlyand Brian Jones, or Carol&Bob Buchanan.... do not friend request me.  You are probably the types that sit on the same side of the booths at restaurants because you can't stand to be too far away from the other.

Honey child, if he wants to cheat on you, he will.  Regardless of you sharing friends on your online profile, there are numerous avenues of philandering. Dumb bitch.

And bro, guys will continue to stare, talk to, and come on to your girl if they choose to. By monitoring her profile comments, picture comments, status updates and message inbox, you're only making yourself look even more ridiculous.  Macho moron.

If you're this untrustworthy, please stop dating.  Please stay single.  Please don't procreate.

.you are a plague.

Leia Mais…

Friday, December 4, 2009

For all of you dumb teachers out THEY'RE.

In a modern world filled with status updates and tweets, a lot of us you seem to be careless when it comes to our your grammar. Listen, I know not everyone cares as much as I do about typos and grammatical errors and that's completely fine. What ticks me off the most is when I see teachers- teachers that have at least a Bachelor's degree- using run-on sentences filled with the you're/your, there/their/they're errors. Shouldn't this have been learned in, like, 3rd grade? Are you actually teaching children? You mean, you have a degree to display? Do you know what a period (.) is?  This is one reason I think having a college degree means absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing.  Please, please, please enlighten me on why you're smarter than me because you have a piece of paper saying so.  I take so much pride in being as educated as I am and need nothing to 'prove' it.

I can count at least four- FOUR- of my Facebook 'friends' [I use that term very loosely] that are blockheaded teachers actually working in a school system.

You know what? I wasn't going to, but I'm not above it... here's a quick lesson a lot of you missed in elementary school:

your- pronoun showing possession.  ex: Your jacket is in the closet.
you're - contraction of 'you are'. ex: You're a plague.

there - adverb meaning in or at that place (opposed to here). ex: She is there now.
their - pronoun showing possession. ex: Someone left their bratty child in my trunk.
they're - contraction of 'they are'. ex: I know they're bringing your ugly grandmother.

Let me ever discover that my child's teacher is a dumb ass that obviously needs more schooling. I'll school him/her for sure. 

.you are a plague.

Leia Mais…